一只张牙舞爪的虫子

写下这一段文字前，我突然不知道为什么想到了徐静蕾。她是一个我觉得演什么不像什么，但是实在搞不懂为什么那么受欢迎的女演员。
anyways。
刚从青岛回来，弄那个浒苔的报道。
忍不住想唠叨一点点中国新闻办啊外办啊的工作风格。
外办啊什么的都是和外国媒体打交道的，他们老喜欢弄个饭局。而外国人是那么的讨厌饭局。而我们中国人又是那么的热爱饭局。什么事都要在饭局上说了才算。no饭局no工作。no饭局no交情。no饭局no future。
说到这又忍不住想打岔了，想起在河北某部门的一个饭局上。之前我们再三说了我们工作时间很紧张就不用吃饭了，他们还是坚持要饭局。饭局上某官员一本正经的重复他对奥运的理解：“所谓奥运，我们看重的是更高更快更强……”“奥运嘛……友谊第一，比赛第二”。说完了还不停让我翻译，搞得我有点想赶紧把最后一个鸡翅抢到碟子里就落荒而逃。
就连很久前，被某浙江当地公安局审问了几个小时之后，也是以强迫性饭局而告终的。非常之滑稽，刚刚还审问你审得脸红脖子粗的，转眼间就跟你饭局上喝得脸红脖子粗了。一边喝还一边勾肩搭背称兄道弟，明明刚刚还指责我犯了法嘛（虽然我还是不明白我到底犯了哪条法）
再说青岛新闻办。同样，一定坚持要饭局。平心而论，他们的工作人员，是非常善良，非常配合，非常帮助我们工作的同志，我对此非常心存感激。可是为什么一定非要浪费彼此几个小时去饭局呢。他们明明都吃过了，还要带我去很好的地方饭局，点很好的菜。我说这话实在有点儿不厚道，明明那个鱼啊虾啊吃得我很爽。可是如果没有这个饭局我想大家都会更愉快一些的。没有饭局大家一样可以工作可以交流。外国记者也不会因为吃了鲍鱼海参了就夸你有多美了。
何苦呢？拿着纳税人的钱请他们饭局，换来的只是他们的一句“ugh those fucking banquets”。
拿我认识的一哥们的话来说，中国都是不懂外事的人在干外事工作。

再骂骂一些在中国的外国记者吧。老有人觉得我一直维护他们跟他们站一边儿。
我维护他们说话的权利和工作，但是，在中国的外国记者里，还真有好多压根不懂中国对中国文化既不了解也没兴趣的人，每天人模狗样的写些狗屁文章。这个是我和瓜儿妈的共识。
下面贴一段聊天记录，看看这个中文奇好的美国人是怎么嘲笑他们记者的。
Brendan O'Kane 说: Honestly, I think a lot of the reporting on China, both positive and especially critical, is pretty low-quality.
 Bug 说:                       it's true.
 Bug 说:                       because a lot of foreign journalists here don't know shit about china
Brendan O'Kane 说:  I don't expect that to change with the surge of total newbies who'll be flooding into the country next month.
Brendan O'Kane 说: Also, there's a tendency to laziness that really irritates me. The majority of China articles I read these days look like they could have been assembled from a kit.
 Bug 说:                      especially during tibet rioting time
Brendan O'Kane 说: Li Kangmei, 12, waits for the crowded bus that will carry him 50 miles home after a hard 20-hour day working at the local poop mines. As he thinks of his 147 year-old mother, who has no arms or legs yet continues to support the family by harvesting garbage at the local nuclear power plant, a single tear runs down his young face.
 Bug 说:                      haha, haha, hahahaha
 Brendan O'Kane 说: Meanwhile, a hundred miles away, Zhang Dakuan, 46, is preparing to drink his third bottle of Chivas tonight. "Like my lighter?" asks the successful businessman, who has just snorted a line of ketamine off the back of a 14 year-old migrant worker. "It's genuine Gucci!"
Brendan O'Kane 说:In conclusion, China's future remains uncertain.
 Bug 说:                     VERY FUCKING TRUE.
Brendan O'Kane 说:It's just so lazy.
 Bug 说:                     haha, but what else can they dig here.
Brendan O'Kane 说:I mean, you can do the same thing to America:
 Bug 说:                      i know a lot of journalists who are LAZY
 Bug 说:                      and who think they know everything.
 Bug 说:                      what can you say about america?
Brendan O'Kane 说:One of America's oldest cities, Boston is characterized by contradictions, as modern skyscrapers stand side-by-side with cathedrals of the ancient Roman Catholic religion, and successful businessmen talk on their cellular phones as they walk past homeless indigents sleeping on the sidewalk.
Brendan O'Kane 说:In conclusion, America's future remains uncertain.
 Bug 说:                     haha haha everyone's future remains uncertain
 Bug 说:                     so why don't we party and have some fun.
 Brendan O'Kane 说:Yeah -- but if I had a dime for every time I'd seen some bullshit about China's future remaining uncertain, I could probably buy a newspaper company by now.
Brendan O'Kane 说:"China's future remains uncertain -- unlike other countries, which are all ruled by psychics."
 Bug 说:                      aren't we all ruled by psychics